Thursday

April 10, 2025

4 down, 21 to go

    Almost done with my first week of radiation treatments.  No issues yet except for the dullness of repetition. I'm already bored with 4 straight days of driving to Irvine, having my treatment, and then driving home.  I can only imagine how I'll feel by week 4 and 5.  

    I did see my radiation oncologist, Dr. Harris, on Wednesday.  He asked if I was feeling tired and I told him no, and there was no nausea either.  He checked the area and was pleased that there was no redness, but he reminded us of what to expect down the road. A quick check in, something that will happen every Wednesday during the treatment schedule. 

    I had an emotional, and sobering, weekend, especially considering my current circumstances. On Saturday I attended the memorial service for a 39-year-old woman who had recently died from cancer.  Her family and Cathy's family have been friends for years (decades).  She had been diagnosed with breast cancer 7-8 years ago.  It had metastasized to her spine and brain in the past few years.  She was married with two children.

    I couldn't help thinking about her 7/8-year-old boy.  That's about the same age I was when my father passed away.  I was blessed to have an amazing mother who kept me grounded in Faith and The Word and set a great example for me.  From what I hear, this young boy and his little sister are blessed with a great dad who will do the same for them, and I know they have a wonderful and supportive family that will be there for them, too. 

    I did my best not to let my brain go there, but those dark inner thoughts kept pecking away: What would my memorial service look like? I quickly started thinking of anything and everything to keep my mind occupied. 

    On Sunday I learned on Facebook that a former student of mine, married with two kids, lost her husband to cancer.  The post stated that it had been a fierce, but short battle with cancer so he must have been diagnosed very recently.  I know my former student is a great mom, and a wonderful teacher, and that she has a very supportive family, too. 

    It made me think of my mom again and how amazing she was. She was 2000+ miles away from any family, but survived, succeeded, and flourished with the help of her friends, her church family, and the blessings of the Lord. 

    Finally, on Sunday night, I received a phone call from a longtime friend who shared that his sister was in the hospital, and they didn't think she had very long to live.  In her case, it was heart related.  I learned on Tuesday that she had passed away at 10:30 AM.

    I shared on Tuesday how happy I was for modern medicine, but how I wish I didn't have to use it.  The stories from this weekend were a poignant reminder that modern medicine can't fix and cure everything. Only God knows the end of my story.

Psalm 139:16

  Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. 

Psalm 39:4

    O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am. 

    So, as good as things are right now, there will come a time when I take my last breath: 4 days, 4 months, 4 years, or 24 years from now, only God knows. Until then, I just need to remember...

Philippians 1:21

    For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 

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